Why is life so complicated?
by Britstvshowsnstuff
Summary: Quinn Fabray's life is a mess. She just had Beth, kicked out of the two most important things in her life. She only has to blame one person, Rachel Berry.
1. Chapter 1

Quinn

Why does life have to be so complicated? So much has happened to me in the duration of one year. The baby, getting kicked out of the house, the Cheerios as well. But most importantly Rachel freaking Berry. She drives me completely crazy. With her stupid little outfits, the bloody argyle sweaters make me want to vomit all over it, the sweaters would actually look better if I did. Her midget height and the way she always thinks that she is the best at everything she does. It drives me insane. I don't understand her.

Then realisation hit me.

"Jesus Christ." I murmur. No this cannot be happening, am I envying Rachel RuPaul Berry right now? Is that even possible? I curse again. Of course it's possible. She has the perfect little life. I chuckle, yeah that's for sure. Her school life is a living hell. But as I look at her from across the room, I see her. She looks so happy.

"Hey Q, you alright? You spaced out for the Glee lesson." I turn around and I see Santana's determined but caring eyes. I sigh.

"Hey S, I'm fine. Couldn't be better." I smiled but I think it looked more like a grimace more than anything.

I slowly get up and walk to my locker.

I knew she didn't believe me, but I know she can't be bothered enough to care. No one cares about me. I thought Puck did, but I know full well he only cared about Beth. Finn surely doesn't because he has Ra-Berry. And everyone else is other too scared of me or just can't be bothered with my problems, like Santana. Which is completely understandable, I'm a mess. But there is one person who still wants to be my friend, Stubbles. It makes me laugh and I keep on asking myself why? All that I have done to her, I'm a terrible person. Sometimes I wish I can be Lucy again. That innocent little girl who refuses to cause harm. What happened to me? All I wanted was popularity, and where did that get me? Straight back to the bottom.

"Quinn?" I felt a tap on my shoulder and turn around, Rachel. God she looks beautiful today, her big brown eyes have a twinkle in them. Her smile and her perfect teeth and those li- okay stop she's talking.

"So what do you say?" Oh crap, I missed all of that I was so distracted by the way her mouth moves when she's talking, imagine what they would be like when- holy shit Quinn snap out of it.

"About what?"

"Did you listen to a word I said? I know I tend to ramble but it's no excuse" I covered her mouth with my hand.

"Rachel, I've had a rough day. Can you please repeat what you said?" I give her a soft smile, god she's cute when she's frustrated.

"My apologies, I am having a bunch of people from glee over tonight at 6:00pm to have some 'bonding time.' It would be absolutely wonderful if you would attend." She finished off with an award-winning smile and a wink. I give her a genuine smile, "I would love to."

That took her completely off guard, her eyes almost popped out of her head. But she contained her excitement by giving me a hug. I slowly wrap my arms around her and enjoy the moment. I almost cried, I'm pretty sure she is. "I know I'm amazing but I don't think the tears are necessary." I chuckled. She jumped right out of my arms and was rambling so many apologies.

"Wow, hey it's okay. I'm touched." I reassure her with a soft smile. She smiles and nods. Walking away.

"See you at 6:00pm!" She's crazy, but now I feel cold and lonely. This sucks.

"What to wear? What to wear?." I'm pretty sure half my closet is on the floor. I haven't been out since the baby drama so I haven't been shopping recently. I really want to call Santana, but I know she's going to be busy with Brittany. Or should I say 'busy.'

I gave up and put on one of my simple sundresses. I sighed, I really wanted to impress Rachel. Who am I kidding, she's a straight as an arrow. I don't even know what sexuality I am, I was attracted to both Finn and Puck. So maybe I'm Bisexual? Yeah, I'll leave it as that.

"Shit! I'm completely late!" It's 5 past 6, how long have I been daydreaming? I put on some mascara and run out the door. My mother isn't home, she has to work long shifts at the diner since she divorced my father. As I said earlier, why does life have to be so complicated? I jumped in the car and drove. Just finally did something right, divorce that douche bag. I know it's wrong to talk that way about my father. But he caused so much heartache in my family, all I wanted was my parents to be happy. That was the day I decided to remove Lucy and be that perfect daughter my parents wanted me to be. I have to thank plastic surgery, hair dye and ballet for that.

I am half Quinn half Lucy now. I now dress in that innocent way she used to, get lost in a book to avoid socialising. But I still don't know how to be her. She was such a good person. Lucy would never have hurt a fly. I stop the car after I arrive at Rachel's house. I now talk as if Lucy was a dead twin sister. I sometimes wish I can wake up in an alternate universe where I'm still Lucy. I never changed who I was just to fit in. As I knock on the door and wait, I realised as that beautiful girl who stole my heart completely. She is still her, even though the whole school population wish she did. People now think I am Lucy's sister because they think she moved with her father, how wrong they are makes me laugh.

"Quinn! You made it!" Rachel showed me another surprised look, I inwardly roll my eyes. But smile anyway. "Of course I did."

AN: Hey guys. Sorry for stopping it here. It's really late and I needed to stop. What do you think? This is the first Faberry fanfic I have written so I need some tips :) thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

"_Quinn! You made it!" Rachel showed me another surprised look, I inwardly roll my eyes, but smile anyway. "Of course I did."_

Her eyes lit up and lead me inside. I was greeted by a group of surprised Gleeks. I knew I was anti- social, but I didn't think I was that bad. They all awkwardly hugged me. I just noticed that Rachel failed to hug me. I was a bit disappointed by that. I tried to not let it show though.

The gathering was kind of boring. It just consisted of us talking nicely. Something I'm not particularly good at. So I just sat in the corner with a glass of coke.

"Quinn?" I look up. Rachel is staring at me, almost as if I've been completely ignoring her the whole time. "Hey, are you okay?" I reply.

"I'm fine. It's you whom I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?" I reply startled.

"Well, you've been cradling the same drink for most of the time not socialising at all." I haven't seen so much sincerity since before my dad left.

Daddy, I miss him so much. He was my best friend, the reason why I was such a nerd. He introduced me to Star Wars, Star Trek and DC. I always will remember those moments, they were my happiest. I still believe that I won't be happy for a while. I really miss Lucy as well. I miss my old life, I want to go back with the information that I have now so I do not repeat the mistakes I made.

"I'm lost in my thoughts Berry, can you back off?" I reply with as much venom as I can muster in my broken state. God she frustrates me, in anger and sex- okay let's not go there.

Her eyes, so much hurt. I'm the devil. I'm not that good Christian little girl anymore. I sigh and she gets up and walks away. I internally scream, god I'm an idiot. How can I do that to the one person who cares about me? I have too much pride, why can't I just admit that she means more to me than anyone else on this planet? Well, other than Beth. I sculled my drink and chased after her. It had to be the most relieving thing I've done in a while. Then I realise. Finn Hudson, she's with him now. I stop.

I'm so stupid, how didn't I see how in love they are. The way she looks at him, it's so different to what I have ever seen. She would never look at me that way. Rachel always acts like she has to walk on egg shells around me. I want to be a welcoming person towards her. But I don't know how to act around her, so it's hard. I ignore the voices inside me to walk away so I walk straight up to her.

"Hey Rachel," I turn "Finn." He gives me a goofy smile. The one that stole my heart last year, I miss those moments as well. I turn to Rachel again.

"Can we talk?" She smiles and gets up before giving Finn a chaste kiss. I feel jealousy override me. Not now Luce, let it go.

"What would you like to discuss Quinn?" Rachel says before stopping in front of me.

"I want to apologise for what I said, it was really uncalled for. I have had a rough week and seeing you-"I stopped, oh crap.

"I understand that you do not find me pleasant to be around, but what you don't understand is how alike we are." I raise my eyebrow at her. "We are nothing alike." I reply with a convincing tone.

"Oh but we are. We both want the same thing, to be liked and accepted." I burst out into laughter. Is she serious right now? I don't care if I'm disliked.

"I don't care if no one likes me, it's easier shutting people out. It's so I don't get hurt." I reply. That sounded really good. I internally pat my back.

"But it's also very lonely, don't you think?" She's slowly coming close towards me. What is she up to? Her eyes have a very mischievous look towards them. I'm worried. Before I could say anything I am wedged between a wall and one Miss Rachel Berry, this is fucking great.

"What do you want me to say Rachel?" I give her a demanding look. I am so sick of her, why can't she just leave me alone? Wait, I wanted to talk to her. Damn.

"That you will admit that you have feelings for me, but you are so proud you won't admit it." I nearly fainted. How did she know? SHIT. This is bad. I aggressively push her off me and snarled.

"Just because you're a fag Rachel, doesn't mean I am. I knew you were RuPaul." I snicked and walk out of the house.

"Who said anything about me being a 'fag'? I was simply talking about you." She triumphantly dusted her shoulders. God that girl, she is driving me insane. I am completely flabbergasted.

"Sorry to disappoint you Rachel, but I'm not one." I whisper back softly. She knew I was lying, in complete denial. It aggravates me how she knows me so well. I felt like crying. I knew I was when I felt her arms snake around my waist.

"Oh Quinn, I'm sorry." Rachel held me, it felt like ages until she let go and stared into my eyes.

"I know you're scared. I want to help you."

"What if I don't want any help?" She studies me, I am telling the truth. I don't want help, especially from her. I want to live my life. I don't want her to be a part of it. I get frustrated again. Of course I want her help. It's all I want, her attention. She nods at my point. I can tell she wants to say something, but I can't read her.

"Hey Quinn, what happened to your sister Lucy?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not updating sooner. I had a really bad case of writers block. Anyway, this is the last chapter as I have no idea how I'm going to continue. Thanks for reading :) x**

"_What happened to Lucy?"_

* * *

><p>I was completely thrown off. I have no idea how to respond to that. This sucks, once again WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?! Oh wait, she's waiting for me to reply. Rachel, why did you have to ask me that, this inner battle is destroying me? Why can you not see that?<p>

"I have no idea what you are talking about." That was the best I could come up with, god I'm so unoriginal.

I have to get my head around this. I remember the good old days when I could be myself, when I had true friends. Like Rachel. It astounds me that she has still not recognised me as Lucy. I guess I lied and said that I was her long-lost twin sister. People in this town are so stupid. It makes me laugh. Well, figuratively.

"Quinn, please don't act so nonchalant and shut me out. I want to know you, why can't you see that?" She's clever, using my words against me.

"Fine, you want to know about Lucy? She's dead." That's a half lie, I am still here. But Lucy's soul and life has most certainly disappeared. Uh oh, I just broke her. Shit, I forgot about us- them being friends. I feel horrible, once again.

"What? Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay? What happened? Quinn!" Too many questions, I had to get out of there. Of course she is following me, still rambling. I stop when I hear her sniffle. I have really got to learn to listen to her. I slowly turn around, there she is. Completely broken, what have I done? I have completely broken her.

"Oh my god Rachel, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I was so caught up within my grief, I did not realise you guys were so close." I'm so stupid, I'm such a hypocrite. How could I leave her alone, then I felt her arms circle around me. She has broken down into tears, trembling like she's freezing to death. My heart is breaking, it feels like every time I slushied her. But worse, a lot worse.

"Hey, it's fine. She's in a better place now. She doesn't have to worry about being judged or pushed over anymore. She is probably got her nose stuck in Harry Potter." I finish with a chuckle and I made her giggle a bit. This feels so right, her in my arms. It's a shame I have such a low self-esteem. She may have caught on my feelings towards her, but it doesn't mean I don't want to confess more towards her. I want to tell her everything, about Lucy how it's me. How my parents divorced and how lonely I am.

She lifts her head and looks me in the eyes. It's such a piercing gaze, she's reading me again. I have to keep a good mask. It takes years of practice to be as good as me. I'm the most fake person anyone can ever meet. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed either.

"Rach, do you want to talk about it?" I tried to stop my voice from breaking. But she can probably see that I'm ready to break down. I'm just so tired of everything. Why is everything so complicated? I just want to sit in her arms and cry. So that's what I did. I broke down. In front of Rachel Berry, I am so going to regret this. Aren't I?

"Oh Quinn, she was a part of you. Your long-lost sister, I'm sorry you didn't get to know her. I'm sure she loved you very much." I love how ironic Rachel is.

I sniffled and looked at her. "It's not just that. Rachel, I-I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost, alone. I have no one, they don't understand me. Not my friends, my family. No one, I need you now." I stopped there, I knew if I said anymore. I would tell her everything.

"I care. I may not be able to empathise. But you have not the slightest clue how long I have waited for you to come to me. You deserve to be happy Quinn. I want that more than anything for you. Let me in, I can help you." I down at my shoes, she's making my stomach turn into mush. Why didn't I see this earlier? Of course I have someone who cares. She's standing right in front of me. I am so stubborn. I decided to look back at her. We are suddenly really close. I can feel her hot breath on my skin. God she smells good, it can drive me insane. I really want to kiss her. I am trying to read her and I see nothing but acceptance. I lean in a bit further, this is it. The moment I have waited for since I first saw her on the swing set in the fourth grade. She was really tiny then and her hair was a lot shorter.

That's when one of us got impatient and locked our lips. This is even better than I imagined, he lips are so soft. It's so different from kissing any guy, she has no rough stubble. I put my hands on her waist as her hands circle around my neck and the bottom of my head deepening the kiss. She tastes amazing, like strawberries and the slight taste of beer. I push her up against the wall and start kissing her neck, leaving small hickies.

"Rachel you've been gone for ages, is every-"Oh no, FINN! I completely forgot about that douche bag. Great, now there is going to be more drama. He's bright red and storms up towards me and looks like he's about to hit me. I put my hand on his chest as a way of telling him to stop. I'm not in the mood for this dumb ass.

"Finn, stop it. Leave her alone, this wasn't her fault. It was mine." Rachel, what are you doing? He's going to crush you with his over sized paws. I love it when she gets all passionate and brave. It reminds me of when she tried to protect me from my past bullies, she was so cute.

I stopped day dreaming when I saw Finn's face. He is so drunk. So I pushed him down on the couch beside us and told him to calm down. His emotions were changing from pure rage to hurt. I felt so selfish. I knew that the minute I wanted to do something for myself, it would completely backfire. It was such a bad idea. I was about to leave when I found Rachel pulling my arm into the bathroom. I quickly looked back to find Finn completely passed out on the couch. What an idiot.

"What are you doing? What about Finn?" I can't help but ask her, I may love Rachel. But it does not mean I will be a part of her cheating on her boyfriend. As much as I dislike him, I have too much self-respect for that. I am being selfish again, but I don't care.

"Forget about him. He's a wonderful boy, but he's not my type." She finishes that off with a wink.

"Well then, let's have a little fun while we have the time." I wink back. Yeah smooth Quinn, she giggles and then latches herself on me. That is when I realised how fucking gay I was.

_Fin_


End file.
